


I Miss You, Daddy.

by Winchester_girl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 02:44:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2252970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester_girl/pseuds/Winchester_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You travel to the past to change the one thing that killed your family. Although it would mean saving your family, you sacrifice something far greater. This devastates Dean far beyond repair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Miss You, Daddy.

It was the year of 2014 that you had travelled back to. The sky seemed much clearer with the sun just setting on the horizon. You looked around and found nothing but woods on either side while a road ran through the middle of what seemed to be Route 66. The sign was a little dusty and you deducted that nobody was really on that side of… well wherever the heck you were. You tried walking but felt dizzy because traveling through space and time had left behind physical and psychological marks on your body. You continued walking in the middle of the highway until you couldn’t take it anymore. You were sweating with short, rapid breaths and your muscles were sore from walking miles without rest. The tall, brown boots that you wore were comfortable but made your feet itchy because of the heat produced by the friction between your feet and the sole of the shoes. Your blue flannel shirt had a huge spot on it’s back that probably smelled gross from your perspiration and you just carried your father’s brown leather jacket in your hand since it wasn’t helping with your body heat. 

You were just about to get off the highway to sit down near a tree on one of the sides, you heard a long blare of sound coming from behind you. You turned around and your heart had begun to beat aggressively while your body went into the fright mode as the car had just stopped merely an inch away from your body. Your senses had stopped working in exhaustion and you collapsed on the hood of the car unconscious. 

The car that you had collapsed on was a black 1967 Chevy Impala. Dean had slammed the breaks as soon as he saw you walking weakly in the middle of the highway; jolting off a sleeping Sam to consciousness. 

“What the hell?” he unleashed his seat belt to get off the vehicle and approach the girl that had just fainted on his car. Sam had gotten out of the car as well, to get you off of the impala hood and onto the asphalt road. He stroked your cheeks a couple of times to see if you’d regain consciousness but failed  adversely. 

“Where did she come from?” Sam looked at Dean who had squatted on the ground beside his brother to inspect you. 

“I don’t know. She was just there when I turned on the curved highway.” Dean answered his brother, looking as confused as him. 

“Maybe she has some kind of ID on her that might help us get her back to where she belongs.” Sam started searching you for a piece of plastic in your pockets and was disappointed when he found nothing.

“What kind of person travels with nothing? no money, no id, no nothing.” Dean got suspicious of you while his brother just shrugged it off. 

“Alright, we gotta take her with us.” Sam had lifted you in his arms while he carried you to the impala. 

“Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, hang on. We can’t take her with us.” The gap between Dean’s eyes narrowed as he turned to Sam and objected. 

“Why not Dean? We can’t just leave an unconscious woman on a dead highway.” Sam complained, holding you still in his arms. 

“What if she’s a vampire, huh? or… or…some weird creature that we don’t know about?” The elder brother’s eyes widened just at the though of compromising their safety. 

“I didn’t see any fangs Dean. Let’s just take her to the bunker and Cas can help us figure this out. Now, get in the car and start driving.” He set you on the back seat of the impala before getting into the passenger seat himself. Dean sighed but gave into Sam’s demands eventually. 

You had woken up with a light headache and three men staring at you. You weren’t surprised at all by the place you were at, simply because you had come from the future to find the exact place. 

“Alright sleeping beauty, tell us everything about yourself.” Dean had asked you, grabbing a chair and sitting next to you while Sam sat on the end of the bed and Cas starred at you while he stood at the threshold of the door. 

“I’m not from this time.” You said ever so quietly that if the room wasn’t dead silent, they wouldn’t have heard a thing. 

“Yeah, we got that part from our angel friend here. Tell us something we don’t know.” He jolted his head in Castiel’s direction for a split second while his eyes remained lodged on you. You looked at Castiel, who hadn’t stopped staring at you in suspicion, before you spoke,

“Like what?” 

“Oh I don’t know… maybe who you are and why the hell you’re in 2014?” Dean’s voice had gotten louder with each word, scaring you a little that you looked over to Sam with saddened eyes. You dropped your sight on the floor when Dean spoke to you because that’s what your father had taught you—never stare right back at the person that’s angry at you. 

“Dean! calm down” Sam sensed your fear and firmly asserted.

“I’m Kara.” You lied, not wanting them to know your real identity. “I’m here because I have to save my family.” you said as you told them the truth this time. But before you could continue any longer, you were interrupted. 

“Daddy?” You heard a voice from behind Castiel and he shifted a little before you could see a little girl walk into the room as she rubbed her eyes to get herself comfortable with the room light. She looked about 4 years in age with long hair for an average preschooler. She wore pink night shorts and a cute night shirt and approached the bed you were sited on. 

“Hey sweetheart, why aren’t you in bed?” Dean’s face softened at the sight of his daughter as she looked at him innocently.

“I’m scared, daddy.” Dean stood up from his chair and picked her up in his arms while she wrapped around her tiny arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulders. He had started walking towards the door while he comforted her. 

“Alright princess, would you be less scared if daddy laid down with you?” He asked her with a smile and she nodded back a yes in return with a cute smile of her own. She reminded you of the time you were scared of monsters under your bed and your father had helped you sleep every night after your mom had left you and your dad because she didn’t like the life you lived. Even though you were little and didn’t know anything yet, when asked who you wanted to live with, you had pointed at your father. You were raised by your father and your uncle. You never distinguished them when it came to calling them parents. You had always thought you had two fathers instead of one. After they had died, you mother had taken you in because you were too little to live on your own.

“Sammy, take care of this, wouldja?” He had stopped near the door and turned back to glance at  you and his brother before he left. Castiel has taken Dean’s seat next to you.

“So why are you here?” Castiel interrogated as he looked right into your soul.

“My family. I…I…came here to save them.” You stammered, telling him again but it seemed like he didn’t believe whatever you had to say.

“Altering the past can change a lot of things.” Sam looked at you and spoke tenderly, as if he had a connection with you. 

“I would do anything for my parents because without them, I’ve done more bad than I could ever do good.” You looked on the ground with shame filled eyes as you remembered the dark times that you went through without anyones support.

“You did terrible things in your life that you didn’t mean to?” Castiel spoke and it came out more of an assertion rather than a question. He could sense the guilt that vibrated off of you. He just couldn’t pinpoint the exacts things you had done. 

“So what are you plans exactly?” Sam asked concerned, giving you the puppy dog eyes.

“Find myself and alter a few details maybe?” You said, knowing what details exactly you wanted to alter. 

“Maybe we can help you find yourself, any idea where you might be in 2014?” Sam asked furrowing his eyebrows.

“I was 4 years old and lived with my dad and uncle in Topeka, Kansas” You looked in his eyes and answered with a quick smile before pursing your lips together.

“Alright then, we’ll head out to Topeka tomorrow morning. It shouldn’t take long to get there. But for now, you need rest.” He smiled at you, comforting you, before you dozed off to sleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night as you had originally planned before you had fallen asleep. You got off the bed and had started putting on your boots before you heard a flutter of wings and looked up to find Castiel standing in front of you, eyeing you down. 

“why did you lie, Kara—if that’s even your name?” He asked as he held his arms folded on his chest. 

“What are you talking about Castiel?” You tried to be innocent but it seemed like he was onto you. 

“Don’t you dare lie to me again, you insignificant human.” He clenched his teeth together and was now just a couple of inches away from your face. You could feel his warm breath on your skin. 

“Even you know how important I am in the hunter history Castiel.” You looked him right in the eye just to prove a point. “You took a sneak peak into the future didn’t you… uncle Cas?” He lowered his eyes to the ground, not wanting to argue with you further regarding your importance. You put on your father’s leather jacket and headed to the door. 

“Don’t do this (Y/N)! It’s going to tear them in bits.” You stopped at the threshold of the guest room door. You turned around and walked towards the angel and tried to force a smile on your sad face. 

“I have no other choice. Just don’t let them make a deal, please?” You lifted yourself slightly to give him a peck on the cheeks. He never was a hugger but he couldn’t resist and pulled you into his arms as soon as your lips touched his skin. He squeezed you hard and that only made a tear drop down your cheeks before you pulled away and left the room without saying a single word. 

Castiel sat on the couch in the hall of the bunker an hour after you has disappeared in thin air. He tried finding you because he realized that he made a mistake not stopping you from what you were about to do, but failed adversely at locating you due to the enochian carvings in your ribs. His anger built up in itself before he stood up and landed a punch in the mirror hanging on the wall. Blood came oozing out of his knuckles but he healed himself and walked towards Dean’s room. 

“Dean…” He knocked on the door, remembering that’s what he wanted him to do regardless of any emergency. A very sleepy Dean opened up the door and squinted his eyes to see Cas’ face clearly. 

“What the hell Cas? It’s 2 freaking am.” He said as he rubbed his eyes.

“Dean, (Y/N)’s not in her room.” Castiel told Dean as the angel feared his best friend’s wrath. Dean didn’t even bother to respond to the angel and had started running to his daughter’s room. His heart was pounding against his ribs and his body had started perspiring through the smallest of pours. Butterflies were flying in his stomach as he got near his daughter’s room. He opened the door just to find an empty pink bed. Castiel, meanwhile, had gotten Sam up. Sam had joined Dean to his niece’s room as Dean stood in oblivion. 

“Kara…” Sam whispered before running towards the room you had stayed in. He slammed the door open to find your bed empty as well. 

“Dean!” Sam called on his brother as he ran back through the halls of the bunker. 

“Dean, Kara’s gone too.” He said as he held his brother’s shirt and pulled on it to bring him back from the shock he had gotten himself into. 

“I’m starting to think that wasn’t Kara, Sammy.” Dean said with tear filled eyes as his heart ached inside his chest. 

“Oh God no! (Y/N)…” Sam held his hands on his head as he realized who you really were. You were his niece from the future. 

“Cas, do you know where they might be?” Dean turned to the angel as a tear rolled down his cheeks. 

“I don’t because of the enochian carving that I installed in her when she was little.” he said as he dropped his head down to the ground. “But think Dean, where would your daughter take someone if she didn’t want anyone to find her?” and that had left Dean thinking. 

“I know Cas, take us to the old factory down the road.” Dean’s eyes widened as he realized where you could possibly be. Cas zapped all three of them to the old factory where Dean would hide the dead bodies of the demons in the area. It was an old, unused factory with scrap metals lying around everywhere. The darkness was oozing through every corner of the big warehouse on the front part of the factory while a blue light shown through the windows as the street light managed to sneak in. They figured it would be easy for them to split up and search for you. Dean took the stairs down and Sam took upstairs. After running around in the maze-like structured building for few minutes, Sam came across a filthy room where you had sprawled out on the floor with the wall supporting your back. You appeared blue due to the street light refraction through the window glass directly on you and maybe somewhat because you were depressed out of your mind. 

“Oh God, (Y/N)… What did you do?” He saw you in distress and scanned the room for a younger you before screaming out for Dean. 

“Uncle Sammy!” tears had started to fall down your red cheeks as your tried standing up. You had ran up to him and he had hugged you tight, empathizing with you but his body language suggested that you had done the wrong thing. Dean and Cas had arrived in the room as well.

“Dad?” You looked at Dean with guilty eyes as you approached him. Sam had taken off in an attempt to find the younger you while you talked to your father about the recent events. 

“Why did you do this (Y/N)?” Dean said with a tearful eye as he looked you right in your eyes. Your green eyes matched his and this is when he could see the pain in your eyes that had built up over the span of your entire life. It was also the moment he realized you looked exactly like him. Having not seen your father ever since the age of 4, and missing him like hell while growing up, you couldn’t resist but look in his eyes and see a spark of love for the first time. This had broken you because when you finally found a way to save your father, you ended up killing yourself. 

“I had to dad.” You were now sobbing, unable to face your father. “Do you know what it feels like to be the reason your own father dies?” You said as you tried holding off your tears. 

“Actually I do!” he said angrily and you dropped your sight to the ground remembering what he had taught you regarding not looking in someones eyes when they were angry at you for the right reasons. 

“I was the reason thousands of people died, dad. I was the reason  _you_  died.” You looked up again, catching a blurry view of him from all the tears in your eyes. 

“I was the reason uncle Sammy died.” You cried even harder, filling the empty factory room with the echoes of your sobs. “Do you know how it feels to keep reminding yourself that you were the one who killed your one true love with your own bare hands?” You looked down to the palm of your hand that were stained with dirt and blood. “I saved your life dad, and uncle Sam’s too and thousand others. And mine…Now I don’t have to grow up without you or have every person in the world I care about die on me.” your tone had lowered. You had come closer to Dean. You could see him trying hard to hate you but he just couldn’t. He pulled you into his arms as he held a hand on the back of your head and kissed your hair. This made you cry in grief even harder. 

“Please don’t hate me daddy.” you said as you pressed against him, feeling his warm embrace. You could hear him whimper slightly in your hair when you used the word ‘daddy’

“oh pumpkin, I could never hate you.” He pulled you away and kissed your forehead before pulling you back into his arms. 

“Daddy, I—” before you could say anything else, you had faded away into thin air. Dean screamed your name into the walls of the room, having been deprived to your touch in his arms, but he heard nothing except the echoes of the empty room. He felt a hand on his shoulders and turned to Cas who looked at him in pity. 

“I believe her entire timeline has been erased after the death of her younger self.” Hearing just this, Dean had broken down emotionally. He skewed himself against the wall and his body dropped down in agony. His sobs were so loud that anyone walking by the factory could hear them. Cas had sat down with him, tears dropping down his cheeks seeing his friend in so much grief. They didn’t move until Sam had returned with your body and they had gone home with you. 

He had laid you down on you bed while he sat on the ground next to your bed as he couldn’t stop sobbing. His eyes surfed your room to gasp in everything you owned—teddy bears, barbie dolls, car sets, before his eyes fell on a DVD that had a sticky note on it that read:  _I hope you understand my pain and will be able to forgive me dad. Love, (Y/N)_.

He had set the DVD player in his room and placed the DVD that you had left for him. It started off with a 5 year old you with puffed eyes as you looked right into the camera when the music had started playing softly in the background. 

_It’s been a year daddy,_  
I really really miss you.   
Mommy says your safe now,   
In a beautiful place called heaven.   
  
We had your favorite dinner tonight,   
I ate it all up.   
Even though I don’t like carrots.   
  
I learned how to swim this summer.   
I can even open my eyes,   
While I’m under water..   
  
Can you see me?

Dean clenched his teeth while he tried to absorb in all the pain that he didn’t even realize Sam and Cas had joined him in his room. Sam’s eyes were red from all the crying he had been doing while Cas just sat down next to Dean holding in all the pain, unable to cry. The video had changed where you looked much older than your 5 year old self. 

_It’s been 5 years daddy,_   
_I’m in 5th grade now._   
_I really like computers_   
_but math is hard._

_Mommy lets me sleep in one of your t-shirts_   
_I think it still smells like you._   
_I don’t need to sleep with the light on anymore_   
_I’m trying not to cry daddy but it still hurts._   
_I really miss you daddy._

_Can you see me?_

At this point, Dean had completely broken down. His eyes had started bawling as he just witnessed you grow up into a beautiful teenager. His heart ached in agony and his muscles stretched on his bones to a point that he left pain at every inch of his body. Blood had started gushing through his veins at a much faster pace and his emotional pain had started reflecting in a physical sense. 

_It’s been 10 years daddy,_   
_I started high school._   
_I made the honor roll,_   
_I hope you’re proud of me._

_I’m also on the soccer team,_   
_can you see me out on the field?_   
_I started thinking about college and…_   
_Do you think I can be a doctor?_

_I know you’ll be with me when I walk down the aisle._   
_I try not to be sad, but it hurts._   
_I hope you know you’re my hero,_   
_I love you so much._

_Can you see me?_

You were crying too by the time the movie ended. Dean had never in his life had witnessed such degrees of pain. Sam had hugged him while he cried out his heart watching his niece remembering her father before she had killed herself to save them. Dean had gotten out his phone and called the person that he thought might be able to help him get over his loss. Your mother. 

~Inspired by the song [[I MISS YOU DADDY]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyLxuy4tPLs)


End file.
